Divorce: The End or the Beginning?

Many people view divorce as a terrible event, a sign of failure, an end of life as they know it. The fact is, while divorce can often be associated with all of these things in a negative fashion, in many ways it can be viewed positively. For those people who are able to view the positives behind divorce, the process can be much simpler and less infused with emotion and turmoil. Although divorce is not something to be pursued at the first sign of marital strife, once the efforts to reconcile have been made, it should not be be disregarded as a viable alternative to an unhappy existence. It is important to recognize that while a divorce is going to mean a change in your life, that change could very well be for the better. Often, when parties conclude a divorce is necessary, it is following weeks, months, or years of marital discourse. This negativity and conflict is draining on the parties, their children and their inner circle of family and friends. Resolving the marriage by way of divorce will usually improve all of these relationships, so long as the parties recognize that infusing additional negativity and conflict will only serve to deteriorate them further. A divorce can be a healthy solution for a marriage that has become an emotional and physical “hurricane.” Often people try to stay together for the sake of the children. While this is a noble goal, if the parties cannot keep their emotions in check, the ensuing arguments and signs of discourse could be counter-intuitive to the desired result. Exposing children to an abusive or volatile marriage could have an adverse impact on the relationships they enjoy with each parent and possibly perpetuate the conduct in relationships they foster as they grow up. Getting divorced should not be viewed as an end of the good things you have enjoyed throughout the marriage, because, in all likelihood, those times are long past. It should be viewed as an end to the marital discourse or the “bad” things that have been experienced recently. It should be viewed as a new opportunity, a new beginning. Yes, things will be different, but different isn’t a bad thing. Different can be wonderful for those who embrace the chance for something new.